Whisper
by ercys girl
Summary: When a simple case goes wrong, will Gil be able to delve deep and tell the secret that has consumed him for so long? GSR
1. Default Chapter

_It was then that she realised how she truly felt. She didn't know that it could happen so suddenly, how hard she could fall._

_She stared at where he stood, and, just like in the movies she saw him running in slow motion towards her._

_Falling, she had fallen before but this time it was different, she could see his face now, feel the touch of his skin against hers, his arms enfolding her. Holding her, she could see the pain in his eyes._

_She heard him calling her, saying her name so soft like a whisper. Her heartbeat ringing through her head drowning out every sound as she prayed that she would always hear his voice._

O

He saw him move towards her, he turned to watch him and caught her smiling back at him. It had been a long shift they'd been working for hours and he smiled back at her all the while inside he admired, no, not admired, he adored her energy, her passion.

He turned back to his work. Suddenly he stopped he heard her sharp intake of breath and he turned to where she stood.

She was staring at him, looking longingly at him; he momentarily scanned her face before following her hands. He noticed her pain, her hands covering up the epitome of her discomfort.

Slowly as if he had been transported in to one of those high-action movies he ran.

Catching her as she began to fall, he slowly aided her descent.

"Sara" he cried out as he held her closely to him

He looked in to her eyes, the pain, the fear the smile she gave him as he cradled her caused his tears to fall

"Stay with me Sara" he wept as he reached with one hand for his cell phone.

He managed to compose himself before speaking "Yes this is Gil Grissom, I'm with the crime lab… I need an ambulance out here now… 20 miles west of Blue Diamond on the old pass way… yes alpine court… hurry"

He hung up the phone and held her hands tightly to her wound, he wouldn't let her, no, he would never let her leave him.

"Sara" he repeated, "You're going to be okay," he told her as he stroked her face with his other hand "You're going to be fine" he said softer as if for his own reassurance.

He noticed her closing her eyes, her breathing heavy.

"Sara look at me" he willed "Look at me sweetie come on"

She looked at him for as long as she could

O

She could still hear him and feel him, he was holding her so tight, touching her face so tenderly and she was looking at him.

'_He's worried' she thought to herself 'But not that worried' _

_She had never imagined that she would end her time in Vegas, like this. She lay there looking at him, thinking about all of the things she had and hadn't done, all the things she had said and had planned to say, and the words she had never spoken._

'_Why didn't I tell him' she pleaded with herself pounding her head only to find that even she didn't have the answer._

_She cared for him in a way that he, or anyone else for that matter would never and now could never know. _

'_How ironic' she began at herself again 'Who knew that life was so undetermined'_

_She bargained with herself that if she made it she would tell him; only this deal she made she thought she would never have to agree too._

_Her eyes began to close, but she battled with all of her will to open them again for she couldn't bare to be parted from the image of his face looking deep in to her soul…_

O

Her eyes closed and no amount of willing and calling her could open them again. He held her closer to him, breathing in her scent and trying to battle his tears.

The paramedics came in at that moment, he again touched her face, gently he lay her down and as his arms guided her into position he kissed her forehead

"I love you," he whispered to her before rising and allowing the paramedics to work.

They worked and they worked, they patched up her stomach and moved her on to the trolley.

He stood there watching as they wheeled her away a paramedic placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder before following his workmate to the ambulance.

It was then that he broke down, and there he stayed.


	2. Chapter 2

He stayed there how many hours had passed he couldn't say but he knew he had been there a while. He couldn't go although every bone in his body told him to he couldn't bring himself to walk out of that door, to find out that the only person he had ever truly loved was there no more.

"Grissom?" a voice from behind questioned him as if he had become a stranger.

The owner of the voice walked up to him and crouched down beside where he still sat; where it had happened.

"Grissom are you okay?" she asked him "We're worried about you"

He looked at her remnants of the thousands of tears he had shed still in his eyes, he wanted to tell her, wanted to scream it out for everyone to hear; wanted to hold her again so much it hurt him to even think about it; but all he managed to say was "Yes" and even that was a whisper within a whisper.

"Come on I'll take you home" she put her hand on his arm and he looked at her; 'why would she care' he thought to himself 'they had misunderstandings, why would she care about me? Why would she care about Sara?'

He stood without too much of a fight, all his energy had drained away due to his fighting for her, due to his thinking and due to his reasoning. He walked with her to the outside and as he climbed in to her car he looked at her.

"Catherine" he said "Thank you"

She shut the door and smiled at him, knowing that this would probably be all she would hear, and she drove him home.


	3. Chapter 3

He had received a call when he was at home, telling him to go in to the hospital; afterwards remembering he was listed as her emergency contact number.

As he walked down the long sterile corridor he suddenly had an overwhelming sense of fear; was she alive? Was she gone? Had he missed his chance? Everything he could imagine possible he was questioning.

Turning the corner he saw them; his workmates. Warrick was there trying to be strong for everyone like he used to be, Nick was there too trying to convince himself that she would be okay and listening to Warrick, Catherine was there she was silently shaken and upset about what had happened but was unsuccessfully hiding her emotions, and then there was Greg, usually he was winding people up, pulling out unsuccessful joke after unsuccessful joke, but today he noted how serious he looked.

He made his way over to where they waited, hoping against hope that he wouldn't breakdown in front of them; although he wanted to care he didn't want them to find out just how much he cared and how much of a broken man he had been left as.

"Gil, good you're here" said Catherine standing up and giving him a hug "You okay?"

"Yes I'm fine" he said, and these again were the only words he was able to part with before the doctor came to address him

O

"Dr Grissom?" a serious looking man asked him "I'm Dr Martin"

"How's she doing?" asked Nick standing up as he asked

"She's okay we managed to remove the bullet, she's sleeping at the moment" he said calmly

"Can… Can I see her?" he asked with an air of relief

"Only for a short time, she needs her rest"

"Can the rest of us see her too doc?" asked Warrick

"Not right now, maybe tomorrow." He turned to Grissom "Dr Grissom if you'd like to go in now"

He nodded and headed for the door to where she lay. He paused and took a breath, before walking in to the room.

O

She was lying on the bed with an IV in her arm, her hair spread across the pillow "Sleeping beauty" he whispered as he approached the bed.

Pulling the seat closer to her, he took her hand in his and he held it tight.

Then he put his head on to her hand and kissed it softly, and then he wept.


	4. Chapter 4

Many hours had passed, many days. He had stayed with her while the others worked. When he slept she awoke, when he awoke she slept, until one day they awoke together.

They looked in to each other's eyes a look of relief, of happiness. An intense stare.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her his hand still intertwined with hers

"Better" she replied smiling at him

"Good" he brushed his thumb over the back of her hand

There was a knock at the door, it opened and Catherine walked in followed by Warrick

"Hey you're up" Warrick said as he walked over to where she lay

Grissom looked at her while she spoke, Catherine came and sat beside him.

"Doctor said she could go home today," she said to him

He nodded and looked at her "Thank you"

"What for?"

"Helping me"

Catherine smiled she knew he cared about all of them, and was only too willing to help her friend out.

"Hey Sara" Catherine greeted her "Guess what, they said you could go home"

"Home" she responded, "I've missed that"

O

Warrick wheeled her out of the hospital, Grissom walked by her side Catherine behind them.

They stopped her on the pavement and opened the door of the Denali. Warrick helped her up and sat her on the passenger seat. And closed the door.

Grissom look at both him and Catherine.

"I'll take her home" he said, "You two go back to the lab"

"You sure?" asked Catherine "I mean you haven't been home for days"

"I'm sure"

"Okay" she said, "Let's go Warrick"

They waited and watched as Grissom climbed behind the wheel and check she was good to go. The engine of the Denali started up, Catherine and Warrick stood and waved as they watched the car drive away.

O

They sat in silence throughout the journey, although he wanted to tell her he couldn't find the words. She was just as unsure. Every so often he would look at her, and she would smile.

"Do you want the radio on?" he asked her as they pulled up to a stoplight

"Okay" she replied smiling as he moved to the controls and turned it on.

A classical piece came drifting from the speakers; he looked at her "Sorry I'll find something else"

She nodded

He couldn't find a station, he looked at her helplessly and she laughed and he gave up.

He sat there thinking, and then he remembered, "I have a tape," he said out loud reaching into the glove compartment he searched for a little and pulled out a cassette, he pushed it in to the player and the music began.

O

Feeling blue- 

_When I'm trying to forget the feeling that I _

_Miss you_

_Feeling green-_

_When the jealousy swells and it won't go away_

_In dreams_

_Feeling yellow-_

_Confused inside_

_A little hazy but mellow_

_When I feel your eyes on me_

_Feeling fine, sublime_

_When that smile of yours creeps in to my mind_

_Nobody told me it feels so good_

_Nobody said you'd be so beautiful_

_Nobody warned me about your smile_

_You're the light you're the light _

_When I close my eyes-_

_I'm colour-blind_

_You make me colour-blind_

_Feeling red-_

_When you spend all your time with your friends_

_And not me instead_

_Feeling black-_

_When I think about all of the things that I feel _

_I lack_

_Feeling jaded-_

_When it's not gone right_

_All the colours have faded_

_Then I feel your eyes on me_

_Feeling fine sublime_

_When that smile of yours creeps in to my mind_

_Nobody told me it feels so good_

_Nobody said you'd be so beautiful_

_Nobody warned me about your smile_

_You're the light you're the light _

_When I close my eyes-_

_I'm colour-blind_

_You make me colour-blind_

_Blinded by the light you shine_

_The colours fade completely_

_Blinded by you everytime_

_I feel your smile defeat me_

_I'm colour-blind_

_I just can't deny_

_This feeling_

_Nobody told me it feels so good_

_Nobody said you'd be so beautiful_

_Nobody warned me about your smile_

_You're the light you're the light _

_When I close my eyes-_

_I'm colour-blind_

_You make me colour-blind_

O

They were half way to her apartment complex and after that song she turned the radio off

"I didn't know you listened to that," she said to him

"I don't" was his reply "But I was enjoying it"

She looked at him wanting to ask why he had it in his car, but she knew better so she turned it back on just before the next song.

O


	5. Chapter 5

The car pulled to a stop in the parking lot of her apartment building and he got out, walking over to the passenger side of the car he opened the door and helped her out.

She was slow in her pace, but he steadily walked beside her; arm in arm.

They stood outside of her apartment door as he took her keys and unlocked it. The door opened and they walked in, he placed her bag on the parquet wood floor, the soft mild purple colouring on the walls complimented her pictures and photographs hanging around the room. The kitchenette was to their left and he steered her towards the black leather couch that sat just in front of the kitchenette wall; she sat down and he went in to the kitchen and got her a glass of water, bringing it to her and setting it down on the coffee table along with her pain killers.

"Thanks" she smiled, wincing slightly

"Are you okay?" he asked her concerned

"Yeah I'm good" she replied

"Okay, I'm sorry I… I can't stay" he began "Ecklie…"

"Don't worry about it" she said to him "It's fine"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, now go before Ecklie kicks your ass"

He smiled at her smiling face and nodded, slowly withdrawing himself back to the front door

"I'll see you later" he said as he stepped out

"Can't wait" she smiled as she leaned back on the couch

He closed the door, and walked down to where his car waited for him.

It didn't take him long to get there; but to him it seemed an eternity.

He climbed in and shut the door and then he paused.

What was he doing? Why was he there?

He didn't know the answer. Momentarily he looked up to her window, imagining her there alone, helpless. He sat for many minutes; ignoring even his cell phone when it rang. He had no sense of time, all he knew was he had to reveal the truth before time ran out.

Opening his door once again he climbed out and made his way tentatively to her apartment once again.

O

_He had left her sitting there. 'Alone again' she thought,_

'_Stupid ass you should have said something to him, asked him to stay' she was beating herself up._

'_But no, you have to be independent, be strong, stupid, stupid…'_

_She realised that he would never know at this rate, that she would never again feel him holding her, caring about her so much, loving her._

_She would never hear those words again… if only time could make time, if only he would hear her calling out to him with her heart then maybe just maybe he would be here once again to hold her._

_Maybe…_

O

He stood at her door, taking a large breath he knocked.

A few seconds later the door opened and there she stood.

"Grissom?" she asked "I thought you had…"

"I did" he began cutting her off "I… I mean I wanted to, I…"

She looked at him curiously wondering what he was doing there.

"Can I come in?" he asked

She stood back and opened her door further, allowing him to see the room again, he walked inside and she allowed him to close the door as she made her way over to the couch once again.

"What can I do for you?" she asked wincing again as she sat down, she patted the couch beside her, and he sat down

"Sara I, I couldn't go, I couldn't leave you, it didn't feel right"

"Grissom I…" she began

"I thought I was going to lose you forever" the tears began to well in his eyes

She noticed his pain and she put her hand on his,

"You will never lose me, I'm here for the long-haul, and I'll prove that to you when I'm back"

"No you don't understand Sara" he began again, holding her hand tight he looked deep in to her eyes "I…"

He moved in to her slowly, holding his gaze, gently his lips brushed hers and he held her, and once again he whispered softly to her

"I love you"

O

_He was there. He had come back._

'_Thank you' she cried to whoever had brought him to her again._

_Looking at his face she had let him back in to her home, and allowed him to sit beside her. He was upset that she had nearly left. 'I would never leave you' she thought to herself and she told him so as she put her hand on to his for comfort._

_She wanted more_

'_I love you' she screamed at herself, then she cried inside 'why can't you tell him why?'_

_She couldn't answer that._

_It almost broke her heart when she saw the tears forming in his eyes, she tried to reassure him, but he said something. Slowly leaning in to him imagining him holding her, she was shaken inside._

_She gasped in her mind as she felt his breath meet hers, as his lips gently touched on to her lips, he moved to her ear, and he said those three words she had longed to hear him say once again…_

O

"I love you too Gil Grissom" she said, "I love you too"


End file.
